Depression: You’re Not Alone — And You Can Feel Better
Unhappiness. Sadness. Melancholy. Despair.
Call it what you will—depression by any other name is still depression.
Clinically, depression is more than just feeling down. It’s a serious medical condition that involves persistent sadness, feelings of hopelessness, guilt, low energy, changes in appetite or sleep, and difficulty functioning in daily life for more than two weeks.
According to the World Health Organization, depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide, affecting more than 350 million people across all ages, genders, and backgrounds.
If you’re someone who struggles with depression, please know:
You are not alone. And you don’t have to suffer in silence.
Behind the Mask
Many people with depression go unnoticed. We work, take care of others, meet our obligations—and yet we’re barely holding it together on the inside.
The emotional pain can be immense, but we hide it. We wear the mask. And most of us have worn it at one point or another.
Depression isn’t always obvious—but its effects can be profound.
Depression Makes Everything Harder
The average depressive episode lasts 6 to 8 months. During that time, even basic tasks can feel insurmountable. Just getting out of bed, answering emails, or preparing a meal may feel like climbing a mountain.
I still remember one of the most helpful things I heard in an undergraduate psychology class:
“Just keep moving.”
It sounds simple. But when you’re depressed, movement is often the hardest thing to do—and also the most healing.
Lean Into It—Don’t Fight the Wrong Battle
One of the most counterintuitive (but deeply healing) truths about depression is this:
The more we fight it, the worse it often gets.
We live in a culture that praises positivity, productivity, and “powering through.” So when depression hits, the instinct is often to push it away—deny it, numb it, distract from it, or shame ourselves for feeling it in the first place.
But here’s the truth:
Depression is not weakness. And it’s not permanent.
It’s a signal. A message. A call for attention.
When we stop resisting it and instead lean into the experience with curiosity and compassion, we open the door to healing. Leaning in might mean allowing yourself to rest instead of pushing. Letting the tears come instead of stuffing them down. Naming what hurts. Asking for help. Tending to your inner world the way you’d care for a dear friend going through a hard time.
Depression is not a life sentence—it’s a state of being.
And like all states, it can shift. It will shift.
When you stop fighting the fact that you're struggling, you can start responding to it with wisdom.
With support. With presence.
And that changes everything.
My Story: Faking It Until It Helped
During graduate school, while writing my dissertation, I went through a particularly dark period. I was interning full time, working part time as a server, and barely holding it together.
I remember coming into the restaurant after long days, exhausted, dreading the social energy it would take to serve customers with a smile. But I had no choice—my income depended on it. So I faked it.
And something interesting happened:
I always felt better by the end of my shift.
Showing up, going through the motions, engaging with others—it helped. That movement kept me afloat.
The Good News: Depression Is Treatable
Here’s what’s often overlooked:
Depression is highly treatable.
In fact, up to 80% of people who receive treatment improve significantly. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, but there is help. And there is hope.
Let’s walk through some of the most effective ways to begin healing:
1. Psychotherapy
Talk therapy is often the first line of treatment, especially for mild to moderate depression.
Therapy helps you:
Understand the root of your depression
Break out of negative thinking patterns
Strengthen relationships and boundaries
Build tools to prevent future episodes
Common evidence-based therapies include:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)
Interpersonal Therapy
Therapy gives you a place to explore what’s working, what’s not, and how to move forward with compassion and clarity.
2. Medication
Antidepressants can be a helpful support, especially in moderate to severe cases.
While they don’t “cure” depression, medications can reduce symptoms enough to help you engage in other healing practices. They’re often used short-term while building longer-term coping strategies.
However, medication isn’t always necessary—especially in cases of situational depression (such as grief or loss). In those moments, allowing yourself to feel and process the pain can be more important than trying to numb it.
3. Exercise
Regular movement is a powerful mood booster.
Exercise increases:
Endorphins (feel-good hormones)
Serotonin (a mood regulator)
Brain cell growth (just like antidepressants)
You don’t need to train for a marathon. Even a 30-minute walk a day can shift your brain chemistry and your outlook.
4. Nutrition
Depression can cause you to eat too much, too little, or gravitate toward sugar for comfort. But stabilizing your eating habits can support your mental health.
Try:
Eating small, balanced meals throughout the day
Choosing complex carbs (like whole grains) over sugar
Staying hydrated
Limiting alcohol and caffeine
Food isn’t a cure—but it is fuel for your mood, your energy, and your recovery.
5. Sleep Hygiene
Sleep and depression go hand in hand.
Too little sleep makes everything worse—irritability, fatigue, sadness, focus. A consistent sleep routine can help break that cycle.
Tips for better sleep:
Keep a consistent bedtime and wake time
Avoid screens, caffeine, and alcohol before bed
Limit naps
Use your bed only for sleep and intimacy
Create a calming bedtime routine (e.g., warm bath, meditation)
Keep your bedroom cool, dark, and quiet
Better sleep = better mental resilience.
6. Social Support
Depression thrives in isolation. Reaching out—no matter how small—can help you reconnect and feel less alone.
You might try:
Talking with a trusted friend or family member
Joining a group, class, or book club
Volunteering (helping others can lift your mood, too)
Even texting a friend or walking with a neighbor counts. Social connection is medicine.
7. Stress Management
Chronic stress fuels depression—and if you don’t learn to manage it, it can keep you stuck.
Here’s what helps:
Breathing exercises or guided meditation
Yoga or gentle stretching
Setting boundaries in your schedule and relationships
Simplifying wherever you can
Make stress management a daily priority, not an afterthought.
8. Rule Out Medical Causes
Before assuming your symptoms are purely emotional, check for underlying medical issues.
Common culprits:
Thyroid problems
Hormonal imbalances
Vitamin deficiencies
Medication side effects
A complete physical exam with your primary care provider can rule out treatable conditions that mimic or worsen depression.
Final Thoughts: You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Depression looks different in everyone—and so does recovery.
Whether your healing journey includes therapy, movement, medication, community, or all of the above, there is no shame in needing help. There is no weakness in struggling.
What matters is this:
You take one small step.
Then another.
And another.
As I was once told—words I’ve never forgotten:
Just. Keep. Moving.
Ready to Take a Step?
If you're feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or unsure where to begin, consider reaching out. Whether it's to a therapist, a trusted friend, or your doctor—connection is the first step toward healing.
You don’t have to suffer in silence.
You don’t have to do this alone.
You don’t have to stay stuck.
