All You Need is Love?

Love Isn’t All You Need—But It’s a Wonderful Place to Start

“Love… love is all you need.”
It’s a romantic notion—beautiful, hopeful, and entirely too simplistic.

If only it were true.

Ask anyone who’s been in a long-term relationship or marriage, and you’ll likely hear some version of, “Love doesn’t come easy.” Love is a powerful force, no doubt about it. It motivates us, connects us, and often feels essential to our sense of happiness and purpose. But as anyone who’s spent more than a few years in a partnership knows, love alone is not enough to sustain a relationship.

So what happens when you do have love, but it’s not the “happily ever after” you imagined?

Let’s start by acknowledging that love is not a static feeling. It’s fluid and ever-changing, shaped by time, stress, history, and effort. In the early stages, love feels like a rush—intoxicating and all-consuming. That’s no accident. It’s biology.

When we first fall in love, our brains release a cocktail of neurochemicals—dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin—that function like emotional superglue. These chemicals create that euphoric high and help us form attachments critical to pair bonding and, evolutionarily speaking, reproduction and caregiving. But this rush isn’t meant to last. It’s the spark that starts the fire, not what keeps it burning.

Once the initial high fades, the real relationship begins. And that’s when things get interesting—and complicated.

The 5 Stages of a Relationship

(Adapted from the work of Dr. Susan Campbell)

1. The Romance Stage

This is the stage we all know and love: the honeymoon phase. You’re infatuated, inseparable, and everything your partner does is adorable. The chemistry is strong, the connection feels effortless, and your differences are either minimized or entirely ignored.

No major relationship skills are needed here—you’re coasting on neurochemical autopilot. But this stage is temporary. It typically lasts between two months and four years. Eventually, reality comes knocking.

2. The Power Struggle Stage

This is where most couples hit a wall. The haze lifts, and suddenly you start noticing the very traits you once found endearing are now irritating. The routines of life, unresolved baggage, and personality differences begin to surface. This is the stage where most breakups and divorces occur.

Conflict becomes more frequent. You find yourselves having the same arguments on loop. You may start to wonder, “Did I choose the wrong person?” or “Why isn’t this working anymore?”

But here’s the truth: this stage is normal. It’s also essential.

The power struggle stage invites you to grow—both as individuals and as a couple. Learning to share power, communicate effectively, resolve conflict, and develop mutual respect are key to getting through it. Therapy can be incredibly helpful during this phase, providing tools and insights to help both partners navigate the discomfort and come out stronger.

3. The Stability Stage

If you do the work of the power struggle stage, you arrive here. In stability, you’ve accepted that your partner is not perfect—and neither are you. But you’ve also stopped trying to change each other. You recognize and respect your differences. There’s a calm confidence in your relationship, a deeper and more mature love that goes beyond passion.

The romance may not look like it did in the beginning, but what replaces it is something far richer: trust, commitment, and mutual appreciation.

4. The Commitment Stage

Here, you both fully acknowledge the humanity in each other. You’ve stopped comparing your relationship to some idealized standard. You know your partner’s flaws and have decided you want to be with them anyway. Love deepens into friendship, admiration, and shared life values.

You not only love your partner—you like them. And more importantly, you feel liked in return.

If you’re considering marriage or long-term commitment, this is the stage to aim for—not the romance stage. Marrying from a place of clarity and connection, rather than chemistry alone, sets the foundation for something sustainable.

5. The Co-Creation (or Bliss) Stage

Now that you’ve laid the groundwork, you become a team in the truest sense. You may create a business, start a family, or simply co-create a life filled with shared goals and meaning. This doesn’t mean challenges disappear—they evolve. But by this point, you’ve built the skills needed to face them together.

Your relationship becomes less about me versus you, and more about us—a shared “we” that is more resilient and creative than either partner alone.

In Closing: Love Is Just the Beginning

Relationships aren’t linear—they change, evolve, and sometimes dissolve. And that’s not failure. That’s growth.

Love alone won’t carry a relationship through decades of real life. But it does spark something vital. It motivates us to take the leap. It gives us a reason to try. And in the trying, we learn how to trust, communicate, forgive, and show up for each other—and ourselves.

So no, love isn’t all you need. But it’s a wonderful place to start.